You knew what you were getting into

Anyone who has ever heard "you knew what you were getting into" can probably attest that in most cases, that is not even close to being true. I think it's safe to say that no one ever truly knows what they are getting into. They might have a pretty good idea, but there are just so many variables in life that we can't ever really know how things are going to go.
I have felt that way getting married and becoming a stepmom. When it's hard and I feel like I'm drowning, most people in my life don't understand. No one has actually said those words, but what they have said has implied that that is indeed what they are thinking. "Why are you having such a hard time, it's not like you didn't know it was going to be this way?" "But that's pretty typical right?"
I'm sure I'm reading into things more than they are actually present. I think a lot of people are good about giving me grace. Realizing that I will figure it out and what I'm saying may have not been well thought out. I appreciate those people. I am figuring it out. Where my sisters in law have had 13+ years to ease into dealing with teenagers, I was thrown into the arena. While they have a mothers love for their children and love them in spite of their awfulness, I have kids who are someone else's' kids and while I love them, it is not a mothers love. Kuddos to the stepmom who truly is able to love a stepchild with a mothers' love. You are lucky.
No one prepared me for that. I had no idea it would be this way.
My friend who has 4 girls and is dealing with a very emotional house of hormones, with one being especially troublesome, would surely not agree with anyone who said, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to have kids.
You don't know if your third kid is going to have a disability. You don't know if your 2nd child is going to have a traumatic brain injury, or get cancer, or have some degree of mental illness. You don't know those things when you decide to have a family. You literally have no idea what you are getting into. And you wouldn't think of saying that to someone. At least I hope you wouldn't. So why do we say that to step-parents? We have no way of knowing that in a year the ex-wife is going to decide to move thousands of miles away. We have no way of knowing when the ex is going to let her crazy shine bright. We have no way of knowing that the teenager is going to end up hating us, just because. Just like a traditional family, there are so many things that could happen, so many things that can change in an instant. Why do we expect them to have a better handle on it, just because they knew there were kids involved to begin with?
I truly appreciate those people who don't pretend to understand, but who listen. Who sympathize. Who try to imagine what it might be like. I'd say the best example is my mom. I have only felt supported and loved by her. She is always, ALWAYS on my side. Even when I know I'm being ridiculous. She validates my feelings. She shares her experiences that might be applicable. She encourages me to keep trying, to look at it in the big picture, to think about other points of view.
So I say to you, it's okay you didn't know what you were getting into. Most people, in most situations, don't have a clue what's coming. They don't know how hard it will be. They don't know how they will react. We are all just doing the best we can, with what we've been given.