- I'm sad you are in the position you are in.
- I'm sad your mom moved you far away.
- I'm sad you have to choose between fun summer activities and your family.
- I'm sad you think that there is only one side to the story.
- I'm sad you don't like me much.
- I'm sad you don't like your dad much.
- I'm sad when he says "my kids don't like me" I don't feel like I can really defend you. Your actions speak much louder than my words.
- I'm sad that the only time you contact your dad on your own is to ask for something (usually money) or tell him you don't want to see him. That's what you're doing when you say you don't want to come visit. I don't want to see you dad. Again, your actions speak much louder than any words.
- I'm sad that my kids won't have a close relationship with you.
- I'm sad you feel like you need to lie about dumb crap.
- I'm sad adults in your life ask you to lie about dumb crap.
- I'm sad to see you change. I know it's part of life, but you hope kids change for the better. That they are leaders and not followers.
- I'm sad you will miss your brothers first birthday party.
- I'm sad the sacrifices your dad makes aren't as visible as other sacrifices people make for you.
- I'm sad you don't show gratitude.
But I am NOT sad about the following things
- I am not sad that you are here.
- I am not sad that we keep trying.
- I am not sad that your dad calls every week. (I am sad the call lasts only 6 minutes on a good day)
- I am not sad that I married your dad.
- I am not sad to be your stepmom.
- I am not sad that I have two more people in my life to love.
- I am not sad that in order to see you longer, we have to do homeschool.
- I am not sad that there will be more video games going on in my house, because that means you are HERE. But I'm still not going to let you play all the time.
You will always have a place in our family. You will always have a place to come. You are always welcome. No matter how many times you slap us in the face, we will be here for you. I hope you know that. No matter the sadness we feel, we will always love you. We will never regret the effort we put in, the love we show, the things we do. Never. You are worth our time, money and love. You are worth the fight to get you here. 10% of the year isn't much. To be honest it really sucks. But we will fight for that 10%, 12%, heaven forbid the 25% we are legally supposed to get. We will cherish every minute you are with us. I will hold dear the little victories. The precious pictures with you and Lincoln. The laughs. The thank you's.
One day I hope you will look back and see that we tried. We loved you. We supported you the best we could. We never gave up.
I know life is hard. It's hard for everyone. I don't pretend to understand your hard. I have no idea. But in my 35 years I've learned a few universal things.
- Family is the most important.
- You have no idea how much your parents love you and how much they do for you until you are an adult. (That doesn't change just because they are divorced. It probably increases.)
- You will never regret time spent with family. You won't remember a missed basketball game or dance recital.
- Your friends are important. Incredibly important. Choose them wisely. If they don't lift you and help you be a better person, have the courage to move on. While friends are important, most of them won't be around in 20 years, your family will.
- Swearing is a bad habit. It makes you look uneducated. So does using the word "like" 14 times in a sentence.
- Your body is a gift. Be nice to it. Find a physical activity you like. Your body will thank you in 20 years.
