Connecting Intentionally

I've been thinking about New Years resolutions or goals or whatever you want to call them. My friend picks a word for her year. This year she chose intentional. I really liked that. Mine has been connection for a few months and I want to carry it into the new year. But I want to connect intentionally. Not that I'm going to make it happen, but that I put for the effort. I won't have a connection every person I meet. That would be ridiculous. There are people in my life that I won't connect with. People who are actually close to me. It's okay. But there are people, that if I were more intentional, I could connect with.
One of my goals for the new year is learning to ask better questions. My husband always asks me a million questions about my conversations with my sister or my mom or my friend and for the most part I answer, "I don't know". Because I didn't ask. I didn't even think to ask. It's not because I was uninterested, I just really didn't think of it. And I want to change that.
I am moving to a new town this next year. A small town. Like really small. Less than 1000 people small. That's small even for me growing up in a small Idaho town. I worry about feeling connected. I won't be close to my friends or family. I am not one to be outgoing and meet people. I'm not one to initiate things. But I'm going to work really hard to be brave. To step outside my comfort zone. To look for those people who are also looking for a connection too.

I've been listening to a book about connection and in it he talks about how we won't connect with everyone we try to connect with, but it's better to try and fail than not to try at all. If you don't try, you don't have a connection. If you do try, you still might end up without a connect, but you also might find a connection that lifts your soul and fills your heart. And that is worth it.

Be Brave.

Advent for all ages

Who grew up with some kind of advent calendar? Maybe it was something as simple as a little bear moving through little pockets of a house with the date on them. Or something like this Grinch advent I made for my sister a couple years ago.

Maybe the "elves" visited and left a gift every day. How about the ones where you punch out the door and there's a chocolate behind it? Lot's of people do the 12 days of Christmas whether for their own family or as a service to another family. An advent calendar is a great way to create memories and connect with your kids.
As a new mom and a teacher, I'm starting this year with a family tradition of a reading advent calendar. You wrap 24 Christmas books and every day you get to unwrap one and read it together.
I hadn't really thought of any type of advent calendar to do with my bonus kids since they live so far away and will only be here for a week around Christmas.
A few days ago, their mom invited us to join them for her version of the 12 days of Christmas. It's a social media 25 days of Christmas. She has a calendar and each day you take a picture to represent what's on the calendar and tag each other in the post. For example, one day says "all that glitters". Each person would find something to take a picture of that goes with "all that glitters". It wouldn't be too difficult to come up with your own calendar. If you are religious, throw in a few more that focus on Christ. If religion isn't so much your thing, Christmas songs seem to be a good place to look for ideas.  I'll have a blue Christmas, Here Comes Santa Clause, Have a Holly Jolly Christmas, etc. She also put in a few that you could turn into an activity together like "C is for Christmas cookie". That would make for a great opportunity to make Christmas cookies together. If you are looking for a more service or Christ centered advent calendar I would recommend lighttheworld.org You can download a free calendar with Christ centered service ideas for the whole month. Three others that I really like are The Little Lamb from Bethlehem similar to Elf of the Shelf but more Christ centered with a little lamb you can move around, this 25 days of Christmas ornament set and this service centered manger.
Back to the social media 25 days of Christmas, I really love this idea because it allows my husband and I to participate even though we live so far away. I really appreciate that she thought to invite us to have this opportunity for a little more connection. You can follow along with our Instagram 25 days of Christmas here.

Connection

This past week I've really come to see how much I need connection in my life. I've been feeling it for months, but wasn't able to put words to the feelings. I couldn't identify what I really needed. As I struggled with self doubt and feeling loneliness and really feel a sense of loss, it finally clicked. I need more connection in my life. I need to feel like I am lifting people around me and I need to feel them lifting me. I substituted at my old school last Friday and I really felt that loss. The loss of connection I had from my job. Cheering on my friends in their successes in their classrooms and having them do the same for me. Sitting at lunch and talking about our families or our students and really just feeling connected.
I thought this obsession with next summer with the kids was about screen time. I didn't want the kids to spend all summer on screens. Especially since we will be in our new house and they won't  be close to their friends they had when they lived here. I wanted to have options for them to not be bored, but not be on screens. But as I've pondered on my anxiety and what I really want from this blog, it's connection.
Of course I don't want the kids on screens all summer. Every other news post is about how screens are hurting our kids, but it wasn't just that. When I was really honest with myself, what I really want is a connection with my bonus kids. I want memories with them. I can't connect with them through video games. Even if I thought I could, I'm more of a Mario Kart girl, not a Fortnite or whatever similar type game they are playing. This list I've been working on is my attempt to find something where we can connect. Something where we can make memories.
Is it selfish of me to list things I'm interested in, instead of suffering through a round of Fortnite? I don't think so. I have come up with SO MANY ideas to choose from. Are all of them super appealing to me? No. But they are all things I'd be willing to try and I think it's so important for kids to be exposed to a wide variety of activities. Who knows what talents they will uncover!? Maybe they will find that they are actually really good at woodworking and they love it. Maybe they are naturally skilled at coding and all they needed was the opportunity to try.
Our brains are wired to seek out connection. Unfortunately many times we neglect that need or, because of circumstances, those needs just aren't met. Neuroscientist, Matthew Lieberman said, "We may not like the fact that we are wired such that our well-being depends on our connections with others, but the facts are the facts."

Our well-being DEPENDS on our connections. No wonder my well-being was on the fritz last week. If I can foster a little more connection in my family and other relationships and help you do the same, I will consider myself successful. Even if it's just one person making that one connection. The memories and connections we make help shape who we are and what we do in life. They bring us both joy and sadness. That connection brings us more than we could ever hope to buy or ever hope to find on a screen.