10 social activities that don't require physical interaction outside your home

Hopefully these are helpful and can bring a little joy to you and the people you serve!

1. Play a board or card game
2. Make a card and sent it to someone
3. Plan a picnic
4. Plan a movie marathon (what will you watch, when, food, who's invited)
5. Have a water fight
6. Create a scavenger hunt
7. Serve a neighbor
8. Send someone a box of sunshine
9. Write to a pen-pal (soldier, child in a hospital, favorite author, missionary)
• http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-general-cards.html
• https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/sponsored-content/USPS/how-write-letters-encouragement/
• http://www.operationwearehere.com/IdeasforSoldiersCardsLetters.html
• https://www.operationgratitude.com/express-your-thanks/write-letters/
• https://www.stjude.org/get-involved/other-ways/holiday-cheer-online-card.html?sc_icid=gi-mm-tg-holidaywishes
10. Find people you know who could use some happy mail. My friend recently told me of some of her family struggles so I decided to write to her daughters. We'll see how that goes. 
11. Plan a family talent show

11 Physical activities for kids of any age

Again, I had this all ready for summer but now is as good a time as any. Probably don't go swimming unless you have a pool at your house. I doubt  you'd be able to find an open pool anyway. Depending on where you are slip and slide and water fight might be questionable as well. 

Physical

All people need to move their bodies. This helps keep us healthy. Our bodies were made to move. Bonus if we are moving outside! Hopefully we can do some activities as a family, but individually is important too.
For more ideas go here. 

1. Go for a hike (plan a hike for the family)
2. Go swimming (plan a swimming trip since unfortunately we do not have a pool)
3. Go geocaching
4. Go for a walk
5. Do some yoga
6. Go for a bike ride
7. Play a sport
8. Do some kind of workout video
9. Have a nerf gun war 
10. Have a water fight
11. Slip and slide

Connecting Intentionally

I've been thinking about New Years resolutions or goals or whatever you want to call them. My friend picks a word for her year. This year she chose intentional. I really liked that. Mine has been connection for a few months and I want to carry it into the new year. But I want to connect intentionally. Not that I'm going to make it happen, but that I put for the effort. I won't have a connection every person I meet. That would be ridiculous. There are people in my life that I won't connect with. People who are actually close to me. It's okay. But there are people, that if I were more intentional, I could connect with.
One of my goals for the new year is learning to ask better questions. My husband always asks me a million questions about my conversations with my sister or my mom or my friend and for the most part I answer, "I don't know". Because I didn't ask. I didn't even think to ask. It's not because I was uninterested, I just really didn't think of it. And I want to change that.
I am moving to a new town this next year. A small town. Like really small. Less than 1000 people small. That's small even for me growing up in a small Idaho town. I worry about feeling connected. I won't be close to my friends or family. I am not one to be outgoing and meet people. I'm not one to initiate things. But I'm going to work really hard to be brave. To step outside my comfort zone. To look for those people who are also looking for a connection too.

I've been listening to a book about connection and in it he talks about how we won't connect with everyone we try to connect with, but it's better to try and fail than not to try at all. If you don't try, you don't have a connection. If you do try, you still might end up without a connect, but you also might find a connection that lifts your soul and fills your heart. And that is worth it.

Be Brave.

Life in reverse

As I've been working on ideas for activities and typing up posts and looking at resources, I've thought about what I want from this blog and where I see it going. I'd love to post about activities we do and how they went and what we liked or didn't like. I'd love to add to my lists. I would love for other people to benefit from these posts. This isn't about step families. This is about quality time with families. Any kind of family. It's about connection. I've also thought that I might not be able to be super consistent in my posting since my bonus kids aren't with us very much.
With that, I hope to get feedback from others. What worked for you? Did you like a particular idea I posted? What have you done in your family that was successful? What wasn't successful?
My other thought is that my life with children is kind of going in a couple directions. I jumped in to teenagers. My bonus kids were 11 and 13, so here I am trying to come up with ideas for teens, long before I'm trying to find activities to engage a toddler or young child. As my teens age into adulthood, I'm going to flip back down the ladder to little kids. That may shift my audience. Hopefully a lot of these activities can span the age gap in kids, but as my baby gets older, I know things will change.
Life rarely goes as you envision. But life takes you where you need to be. I wouldn't trade my husband, my two teens or my baby for anything. My baby will be blessed to have a brother and sister to look up to. They might not connect the way I connect with my sister who is 6 years younger than me, but they will have their own special relationship.
I look forward to seeing what God has in store for me and my family. Maybe this blog won't go anywhere or help anyone except my family. And that is okay. My first priority is to bless my family and if in doing that, I can bless others . . . well that will just be icing on the cake.

And I love cake.

Summer

I've been obsessing a bit about next summer. I just want it to be successful. I want to create memories. I want them to enjoy their time with us. I want the kids to WANT to come back. I want them to feel loved. I want them to do more than sit on screens ALL SUMMER LONG.
So I've been brainstorming and polling and pinning like a crazy person. I love the new youth program from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I think it's so important for people to take ownership of their development. Especially in the critical teenage years.
I've been working on a summer routine/plan to get the kids off screens and trying new things. I've gone back and forth on how to implement it. Do I work in an allowance, do they just get an allowance and this is extra, no allowance and they earn everything, etc. Still ironing out those details. I'll have to talk with Bryan on that.
I'm going to ask the kids for ideas they have, give them my list and see what interests them and make sure I have the supplies. I think I'll ask my nieces and nephews as well. If they are interested in something the kids aren't, the cousins might be able to spark an interest in at least trying something else.
I've got their must do list for every day

1. make your bed
2. clean your room
3. read 20 minutes
4. do your assigned chore (still don't know what those will be)
5. work in the garden x number of minutes

That's it. Those are the things they need to do every day. When those are done, they will get 2 hours of screen time. After that, I'm still working on how more time will be added. I'm sure there will be a lot of revisions. Especially when things actually get started and I see what ACTUALLY works. There could be a lot of weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth. Lots of wifi password changing. But I'm willing to do it, if it means there are actual memories made and there aren't video games going 24/7.

The categories for them to choose from go with the youth program spiritual, physical, intellectual and social. They will not be required to do any of them. If all they do are the physical tasks, that's fine. If all they do is social, that's fine. I won't force them to do any of it. If they choose to sit and stare at the wall because they don't want to do any of the choices or make up their own, that's their choice. Hopefully they will find a new hobby or two and move more than their thumbs. 

Wicked step-mother

A lot of people think of fairytales when they hear stepmother. I know I always did. Cinderella had a wicked or evil stepmother as did Snow White. Who wants that? My own step-son has a friend who has an "evil step-mom". You know, the one who grounds him and won't let him play video games. Who knows how "evil" she actually is, the word of a couple 11 year olds is hardly reliable.
While I'm sure there are some wicked or evil stepmothers out there (sadly, I know of at least one for sure), I think the really wonderful ones far outnumber the not so great ones. At least I hope so. I hope  stepmoms love their stepkids and want the very best for them. They want to help them be successful in life, love themselves and their families.
That being said, stepmom still has a somewhat negative connotation. I think I prefer bonus mom. You have a bonus person in your life who loves you and wants the very best for you. They want you to succeed and become a great person. A bonus person cheering you on. A bonus person you can turn to and rely on.

With that, I've started trying to think of my stepkids and bonus kids. Two people in my life that I get to love. I get to cheer for them, worry about them, pray for them, hope they turn out to be great people. I feel like I do all of those things, but unfortunately I don't really feel like they look at me as a bonus mom. It's hard. I don't really blame them. It's situational. I think I'm seen as more of "dad's wife". I may never get to be "bonus mom".
I know some families don't use step or bonus. I'm happy for those families. They have blended at made it work and while I'm sure they have their trials (what family doesn't?). They have those relationships that have developed to that of parent/child. The kids just call you mom. That won't happen for me. Maybe I'm being pessimistic, but I feel like I'm being realistic. My bonus kids were 11 and 13 when their dad and I got married. They live with their mom full time. Every other weekend and a few hours during the week doesn't lend to strong bonding time. Especially since I was pregnant and sick for a lot of the time. Then they moved to Washington with their mom. Now our bonding time will be two months in the summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring Break. My odds just aren't looking very promising. And I'm working on being okay with that. Some days are better than others.
I've already started thinking about next summer. I want to be prepared. I want it to be successful in memory making and bonding opportunities. I realize they are teenagers and more likely than not things won't work out how I would like. But that doesn't mean I'm not still going to try. I want them to know that we want them here. We want them to visit and to feel at home. I want them to know we love them. We want to spend time with them. We want to help them become productive members of society. People who will be able to leave home and be successful. Feed themselves, budget, get a job, etc. Hopefully their mom is doing the same and together we can help them on this journey of life.
Hopefully they will come to see me as their friend (because woohoo! I can be their friend first, since I don't have to be their parent first) and someone they can trust. I hope they can feel and know my love for them. Hopefully they come to think of me as a bonus mom and not just dad's wife, but if not, it won't be for my lack of trying.