Showing posts with label mom goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mom goals. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 31, 2020

10 social activities that don't require physical interaction outside your home

Hopefully these are helpful and can bring a little joy to you and the people you serve!
  1. Play a board or card game
  2. Make a card and sent it to someone
  3. Plan a picnic
  4. Plan a movie marathon (what will you watch, when, food, who's invited)
  5. Have a water fight
  6. Create a scavenger hunt
  7. Serve a neighbor
  8. Send someone a box of sunshine
  9. Write to a pen-pal (soldier, child in a hospital, favorite author, missionary)
  10. Find people you know who could use some happy mail. My friend recently told me of some of her family struggles so I decided to write to her daughters. We'll see how that goes. 
  11. Plan a family talent show

7 Spiritual/mental activities and goals

Obviously I wrote this when temples were still open, but you could plan a trip for when temples are reopened. 

Spiritual

People are multifaceted. We have emotional, physical, spiritual and social needs. Our spirits need to be fed just like our bodies. We need to make sure we don't neglect our souls. I think our emotions and our spirits are very closely related. When I don't take care of my spirit I am more likely to give into bursts of anger or frustration. I am more likely to feel sad and discontent. Taking care of myself spiritually helps keep me balanced. I don't think taking care of your spirit necessarily has to do with church. I have benefitted from meditation and reading uplifting literature. 
You can find more ideas here
  1. Write in your journal
    1. This is not my graphic. I got it from here. Why reinvent the wheel? 
    2. This one is from here.
  2. Plan a trip to the temple
  3. Meditate I chose this video because I love her yoga. There are tons of other videos you can find or  maybe find some soothing meditation music and do your own.
  4. Read a conference talk
  5. Read the scriptures or other uplifting literature for 10 minutes (love having a library card)
    • There are at least 100 chicken soup for every kind of soul there is
    • There are also about a million self help books 
  6. Plan and give a family home evening lesson
    • There are tons of websites with great family night lessons already prepared, ideas for lessons, or come up with something on your own.
  7. Index names
These are more non-religious spiritual/mental health goals
    1. Write in your journal
    2. Read or listen to uplifting literature
      • Chicken soup for the soul
      • TED talks
      • Self help book or podcast (7 habits of highly effective teens)
    3. Meditate
    4. Learn a new coping skill and put it into practice
    5. Put your phone in airplane mode every night at 10pm
    6. Start a gratitude journal
    7. Stay off social media one day a week
    8. Make your bed every day (this is why you should)

63 Intellectual ideas for teens

I started this post months ago to have ready for the summer. Now seems like a good time to post as we are all choosing to do our part and stay home. Hopefully there is something on this list that you can try. 

Intellectual

This is the skills. New things that are going to work their brains. Will they paint? Will they crochet? Will they build a table? Who knows if they will do anything, but here is a list of things they could try and links to videos or tutorials on how to do them. 

Have a teen that refuses to try new things? When is the last time you tried something new? Maybe set the example and give one of these a try. Curiosity is a great motivator. If they see you trying new and different things, it might get them curious enough to venture into their own experimentation. 
For more ideas go here.


  1. Photography
  2. Build a Ukulele and learn how to play it
  3. Learn a different instrument
  4. Learn to draw
  5. Doodle/draw
  6. Make jewelry
  7. Polymer clay sculpting (could be used to make beads for the jewelry)
  8. Paint a phone case
  9. Crayon melting art
  10. Paint rocks
  11. Do an acrylic pour This is a different (longer) video option and I really like this youtube channel but her videos are really long. I turn the speed up to 2x. Seriously I watched different videos for over an hour. So many different techniques, such cool results!
  12. Paint, you know, get in touch with your inner Bob Ross (acrylic, watercolor, etc.)
  13. Graffiti Wall (I'm so stoked about this one. Build some kind of wall/fence and some spray paint. Bam! Graffiti wall)
  14. Do a science project
  15. Create a block set for Lincoln
  16. Do a wood project from wood connection
  17. Work on a puzzle
  18. Learn to code
  19. Puppetry (sock puppet, marionette, create a set, make the puppets, write a play)
  20. Carpentry (nothing too fancy, give them some wood and nails)
  21. Write a play and act it out (plan this out so cousins can participate)
  22. Go to the library
  23. Create a neighborhood library
  24. Do pancake art
  25. Make a music video
  26. Make a sock gnome
  27. Make a felt board for Lincoln
  28. Write a story
  29. Make a childrens book (Target books)
  30. Make a comic strip
  31. String art
  32. Do movie reviews
  33. Create a Shutterfly book
  34. Create a Pinterest board 
  35. Create a blog
  36. Create your own board game
  37. Create a YouTube tutorial for something
  38. Listen to a podcast
  39. Read a book
  40. Duct tape art
  41. Make a jelly roll rug
  42. Work in the garden
  43. Shrink art
  44. Origami
  45. Paper art
  46. Have a water fight
  47. Make perler bead art
  48. Plan and make a meal
  49. Make homemade ice cream
  50. Learn to decorate cake or cookies
  51. Bake something (bread, cookies, pie)
  52. Learn to make jam
  53. Learn to face paint
  54. learn to make candles
  55. learn to grill
  56. learn to knit
  57. learn macrame
  58. learn to crochet
  59. learn to juggle
  60. learn a magic/card trick
  61. learn to sew (pj pants, pillowcase, quilt, use my longarm!)
  62. learn calligraphy
  63. learn/practice a language

Wednesday, March 11, 2020

I am patient

Everyone waits. You can't really do anything about having to wait. You wait in line at the grocery store, the doctors office, a red light. We wait for winter to be over, for our broken leg to heal, for the cookies to bake. We really can't do anything to make these things go faster. We have to wait. So what is the difference between waiting and being patient? What do we mean when we say we need to be more patient with our kids or our coworkers? When we say someone is "trying our patience"?
 This quote by Joyce Meyer answers that for me. We all wait, it is how we wait that makes the difference. Are we tapping the steering wheel at the red light? Are we silently criticizing the checker at the grocery store? Are we complaining about another cold snowy day?
When we realize this↑↑ we are more inclined to change our attitude. To have the patience we so boldly claim to want, but so often let slip between our fingers. When we realize that we will still get to see the doctor and that everyone else needs to see him too, we can calm down a bit. We may have to change some plans since we are now running late, but we can calmly accept that and make the necessary arrangement instead of boiling inside and probably snapping at the receptionist. The same goes for our children and coworkers. There is more than one way to do something, everyone is dealing with something in their lives, we all learn in our own time, we all make mistakes. When we can step back, take a breath, and remind ourselves of this, we can see that things can happen differently that what we would like, on a different time line that what we would like and it's okay.
There are worse things in the world that arriving 10 minutes late. Yelling at your kids because they spilled juice on their shirt when you needed to leave won't help you leave on time and may do more damage to your kid than you will ever know.
Obviously we aren't perfect. We are going to lose our cool, get upset, make mistakes and want to give up. But we must also be patient with ourselves. Remember that we too make progress in a different order and timeline that what we might like.
Give yourself a little grace and keep trying.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

Life is HARD

Life is hard. Like SO hard. I think there are very few people who would argue that. Of course there are those that would debate that it's all in your perspective. They are right, sort of. Our perspective can help us deal with the hard, but I don't think it changes the fact that it is HARD.
Life is difficult in all stages of life. As a baby it's hard because you can't do anything for yourself and you can't talk to tell anyone what it is that you need. The thing about babies is that they don't know that it's hard. As they grow, things are still hard. They have a lot of stuff to learn. They are learning to walk and talk. Fine and gross motor skills. Social mores. So many things! Sometimes they recognize that it's hard, but mostly they just do it. They have lots of support, people constantly encouraging them, helping them, picking them up when they fall. They keep going and learning.
Elementary school kids are still learning a lot as well. They are at an age when they recognize that things are hard. Math is difficult, friends can be tricky, home life requires more of them now. I look at that and would trade for that hard in a heartbeat, but for them, it is all encompassing. Their life is SO HARD. But they still have lots of people encouraging, helping and cheering them on.
Then we move into the teenage years where no one's life has ever been as hard. And no one understands. They have so many things to juggle. Still learning. Math is still hard, friends are the worst (and also the best), parents, activities, grades, chores, etc. SO HARD. They usually don't want it, but they still have a great deal of support and encouragement from the people around them.
And then we move out on our own. We go to college or get a job or both. Now we are responsible for ourselves. We have to feed ourselves, do our own laundry, make our own money, pay our own bills (hopefully you were at least doing your own laundry when you lived at home) and you still have relationships to manage, time to juggle and you are continuing to learn. It is HARD. But mom calls to check in on you, you have a night out with your friends who confirm that they too are struggling with all the hard things.

Now you're married and have some kids. And life is SO HARD. You now not only have to take care of and worry about yourself, but you also have a spouse and little people who need you. You had no idea the things that would come up! You didn't know you could be stretched this far without breaking. You didn't know you could cry so many tears, feel so alone, feel so empty and ready to give up. Maybe you keep it all bottled up and put on a brave face and no one is the wiser that you are STRUGGLING. You don't share your trials. Maybe not even with your spouse. And possibly that is making it all the more difficult and heavy to bare.
Unlike when you were a child, you don't feel like you have someone encouraging, cheering and lifting you. You don't want to "burden" others. You cut out the connections in your life.
And just like all the other times in your life, you will make it through. But wouldn't it be better to make it through quicker and easier? There is no magic potion to make our troubles go away. We have to go through them. But remember, things have been HARD your whole life. They have been preparing you. You got through them and learned. And most likely you had a lot of people helping you along the way. Don't shut out those that could and would, lighten your burden. Most often, in our adult problems, there isn't much anyone else can do to take the problem away. But knowing someone is praying for you, knowing someone will listen to you, knowing someone will help you escape for 15 minutes to grab an ice cream, can be all the difference. It can fill your cup and help you fight another day.
Each stage of our lives presents trials and challenges. But each stage of our life helps prepare us for the next stage. If we allow them to, our trials will strengthen us so that we can bare the burdens that are placed upon us. We will still feel weighed down. We will still feel that sometimes, we just can't go forward another step. That is when we need to let someone hold our load for a minute. Let ourselves catch our breath, take a rest, and then get back to it. Remember you are still learning.
Life is tough! But so are you. You have made it through so much already. You can take on whatever you are faced with.







Saturday, January 11, 2020

Are you sacrificing your relationships?

This Valedictorian speech is profound. This kid will go far. He has learned a very important lesson early in his life. I'm grateful he shared this and I hope his classmates take it to heart. Don't chase a goal at the expense of relationships. 
Remember the 16th second. 
Are we paying for things with a lack of relationship building? 
"Nothing is more important than your healthy relationships. Relationships are where we get to influence, impact and change people's lives. Your life cannot be meaningful without them."





Wednesday, January 8, 2020

You knew what you were getting into

Anyone who has ever heard "you knew what you were getting into" can probably attest that in most cases, that is not even close to being true. I think it's safe to say that no one ever truly knows what they are getting into. They might have a pretty good idea, but there are just so many variables in life that we can't ever really know how things are going to go.
I have felt that way getting married and becoming a stepmom. When it's hard and I feel like I'm drowning, most people in my life don't understand. No one has actually said those words, but what they have said has implied that that is indeed what they are thinking. "Why are you having such a hard time, it's not like you didn't know it was going to be this way?" "But that's pretty typical right?"
I'm sure I'm reading into things more than they are actually present. I think a lot of people are good about giving me grace. Realizing that I will figure it out and what I'm saying may have not been well thought out. I appreciate those people. I am figuring it out. Where my sisters in law have had 13+ years to ease into dealing with teenagers, I was thrown into the arena. While they have a mothers love for their children and love them in spite of their awfulness, I have kids who are someone else's' kids and while I love them, it is not a mothers love. Kuddos to the stepmom who truly is able to love a stepchild with a mothers' love. You are lucky.
No one prepared me for that. I had no idea it would be this way.
My friend who has 4 girls and is dealing with a very emotional house of hormones, with one being especially troublesome, would surely not agree with anyone who said, you knew what you were getting into when you decided to have kids.
You don't know if your third kid is going to have a disability. You don't know if your 2nd child is going to have a traumatic brain injury, or get cancer, or have some degree of mental illness. You don't know those things when you decide to have a family. You literally have no idea what you are getting into. And you wouldn't think of saying that to someone. At least I hope you wouldn't. So why do we say that to step-parents? We have no way of knowing that in a year the ex-wife is going to decide to move thousands of miles away. We have no way of knowing when the ex is going to let her crazy shine bright. We have no way of knowing that the teenager is going to end up hating us, just because. Just like a traditional family, there are so many things that could happen, so many things that can change in an instant. Why do we expect them to have a better handle on it, just because they knew there were kids involved to begin with?
I truly appreciate those people who don't pretend to understand, but who listen. Who sympathize. Who try to imagine what it might be like. I'd say the best example is my mom. I have only felt supported and loved by her. She is always, ALWAYS on my side. Even when I know I'm being ridiculous. She validates my feelings. She shares her experiences that might be applicable. She encourages me to keep trying, to look at it in the big picture, to think about other points of view.
So I say to you, it's okay you didn't know what you were getting into. Most people, in most situations, don't have a clue what's coming. They don't know how hard it will be. They don't know how they will react. We are all just doing the best we can, with what we've been given.

Friday, December 27, 2019

Connecting Intentionally

I've been thinking about New Years resolutions or goals or whatever you want to call them. My friend picks a word for her year. This year she chose intentional. I really liked that. Mine has been connection for a few months and I want to carry it into the new year. But I want to connect intentionally. Not that I'm going to make it happen, but that I put for the effort. I won't have a connection every person I meet. That would be ridiculous. There are people in my life that I won't connect with. People who are actually close to me. It's okay. But there are people, that if I were more intentional, I could connect with.
One of my goals for the new year is learning to ask better questions. My husband always asks me a million questions about my conversations with my sister or my mom or my friend and for the most part I answer, "I don't know". Because I didn't ask. I didn't even think to ask. It's not because I was uninterested, I just really didn't think of it. And I want to change that.
I am moving to a new town this next year. A small town. Like really small. Less than 1000 people small. That's small even for me growing up in a small Idaho town. I worry about feeling connected. I won't be close to my friends or family. I am not one to be outgoing and meet people. I'm not one to initiate things. But I'm going to work really hard to be brave. To step outside my comfort zone. To look for those people who are also looking for a connection too.
I've been listening to a book about connection and in it he talks about how we won't connect with everyone we try to connect with, but it's better to try and fail than not to try at all. If you don't try, you don't have a connection. If you do try, you still might end up without a connect, but you also might find a connection that lifts your soul and fills your heart. And that is worth it.

Be Brave.

Thursday, December 26, 2019

8 non-religious spiritual goals

We are in a weird place with our kids. They live with their non religious mom and anti religious step father. We are pretty religious people in our home. We are trying very hard not to push religion on them, since they've expressed they don't have an interest in it (12 and 15, not really surprising). We go to church every Sunday and I think they've resigned themselves to going, since they are rarely here so it's "not that bad" for one Sunday every so often.

Whether you're religious or not, your spiritual health is still very important. Here are 8 ideas for how to care for your spirit without religion. I think your spiritual health is directly linked to your mental health. Heaven knows mental illness is on the rise. While I don't think these will cure any illness you may or may not have, I do believe they will help you be happier and avoid some of the things that can contribute to declined mental health.

  1. Write in your journal
  2. Read or listen to uplifting literature
    • Chicken soup for the soul
    • TED talks
    • Self help book or podcast (7 habits of highly effective teens)
  3. Meditate
  4. Learn a new coping skill and put it into practice
  5. Put your phone in airplane mode every night at 10pm
  6. Start a gratitude journal
  7. Stay off social media one day a week
  8. Make your bed every day (this is why you should)

Back to School

 I like to do back to school packages for the kids. This year stumped me a little bit since they are completely online until at least Januar...