Connection

This past week I've really come to see how much I need connection in my life. I've been feeling it for months, but wasn't able to put words to the feelings. I couldn't identify what I really needed. As I struggled with self doubt and feeling loneliness and really feel a sense of loss, it finally clicked. I need more connection in my life. I need to feel like I am lifting people around me and I need to feel them lifting me. I substituted at my old school last Friday and I really felt that loss. The loss of connection I had from my job. Cheering on my friends in their successes in their classrooms and having them do the same for me. Sitting at lunch and talking about our families or our students and really just feeling connected.
I thought this obsession with next summer with the kids was about screen time. I didn't want the kids to spend all summer on screens. Especially since we will be in our new house and they won't  be close to their friends they had when they lived here. I wanted to have options for them to not be bored, but not be on screens. But as I've pondered on my anxiety and what I really want from this blog, it's connection.
Of course I don't want the kids on screens all summer. Every other news post is about how screens are hurting our kids, but it wasn't just that. When I was really honest with myself, what I really want is a connection with my bonus kids. I want memories with them. I can't connect with them through video games. Even if I thought I could, I'm more of a Mario Kart girl, not a Fortnite or whatever similar type game they are playing. This list I've been working on is my attempt to find something where we can connect. Something where we can make memories.
Is it selfish of me to list things I'm interested in, instead of suffering through a round of Fortnite? I don't think so. I have come up with SO MANY ideas to choose from. Are all of them super appealing to me? No. But they are all things I'd be willing to try and I think it's so important for kids to be exposed to a wide variety of activities. Who knows what talents they will uncover!? Maybe they will find that they are actually really good at woodworking and they love it. Maybe they are naturally skilled at coding and all they needed was the opportunity to try.
Our brains are wired to seek out connection. Unfortunately many times we neglect that need or, because of circumstances, those needs just aren't met. Neuroscientist, Matthew Lieberman said, "We may not like the fact that we are wired such that our well-being depends on our connections with others, but the facts are the facts."

Our well-being DEPENDS on our connections. No wonder my well-being was on the fritz last week. If I can foster a little more connection in my family and other relationships and help you do the same, I will consider myself successful. Even if it's just one person making that one connection. The memories and connections we make help shape who we are and what we do in life. They bring us both joy and sadness. That connection brings us more than we could ever hope to buy or ever hope to find on a screen.