Back to School

 I like to do back to school packages for the kids. This year stumped me a little bit since they are completely online until at least January. I polled facebook, but ultimately came up with my own things. I of course forgot to take a picture. 

They each got a t-shirt and a pair of socks. Those were the biggest hits. 

Notebook, pens, and highlighters

Bag of candy

Family pictures

In the end I decided to keep it simple. I always try to overthink and overdo. I have found that simple is received the same as elaborate, but simple costs less and stresses me out less. Is there even any question which way to go? I find myself overthinking things much too often, especially in the stepmom department. I know it's pretty normal and I hope I'm getting better at recognizing it and letting go.  

I'm sad

I thought about titling this "I'm sorry" but as I thought about it more and more, "I'm sad" seemed for fitting. These won't all apply to both of you, but most of them will.

• I'm sad you are in the position you are in.
• I'm sad your mom moved you far away.
• I'm sad you have to choose between fun summer activities and your family. 
• I'm sad you think that there is only one side to the story.
• I'm sad you don't like me much. 
• I'm sad you don't like your dad much.
• I'm sad when he says "my kids don't like me" I don't feel like I can really defend you. Your actions speak much louder than my words.
• I'm sad that the only time you contact your dad on your own is to ask for something (usually money) or tell him you don't want to see him. That's what you're doing when you say you don't want to come visit. I don't want to see you dad. Again, your actions speak much louder than any words. 
• I'm sad that my kids won't have a close relationship with you. 
• I'm sad you feel like you need to lie about dumb crap.
• I'm sad adults in your life ask you to lie about dumb crap.
• I'm sad to see you change. I know it's part of life, but you hope kids change for the better. That they are leaders and not followers.
• I'm sad you will miss your brothers first birthday party.
• I'm sad the sacrifices your dad makes aren't as visible as other sacrifices people make for you.
• I'm sad you don't show gratitude. 

But I am NOT sad about the following things

• I am not sad that you are here.
• I am not sad that we keep trying.
• I am not sad that your dad calls every week. (I am sad the call lasts only 6 minutes on a good day)
• I am not sad that I married your dad.
• I am not sad to be your stepmom.
• I am not sad that I have two more people in my life to love.
• I am not sad that in order to see you longer, we have to do homeschool.
• I am not sad that there will be more video games going on in my house, because that means you are HERE. But I'm still not going to let you play all the time. 

You will always have a place in our family. You will always have a place to come. You are always welcome. No matter how many times you slap us in the face, we will be here for you. I hope you know that. No matter the sadness we feel, we will always love you. We will never regret the effort we put in, the love we show, the things we do. Never. You are worth our time, money and love. You are worth the fight to get you here. 10% of the year isn't much. To be honest it really sucks. But we will fight for that 10%, 12%, heaven forbid the 25% we are legally supposed to get. We will cherish every minute you are with us. I will hold dear the little victories. The precious pictures with you and Lincoln. The laughs. The thank you's. 

One day I hope you will look back and see that we tried. We loved you. We supported you the best we could. We never gave up. 

I know life is hard. It's hard for everyone. I don't pretend to understand your hard. I have no idea. But in my 35 years I've learned a few universal things. 

• Family is the most important. 
• You have no idea how much your parents love you and how much they do for you until you are an adult. (That doesn't change just because they are divorced. It probably increases.) 
• You will never regret time spent with family. You won't remember a missed basketball game or dance recital. 
• Your friends are important. Incredibly important. Choose them wisely. If they don't lift you and help you be a better person, have the courage to move on. While friends are important, most of them won't be around in 20 years, your family will. 
• Swearing is a bad habit. It makes you look uneducated. So does using the word "like" 14 times in a sentence. 
• Your body is a gift. Be nice to it. Find a physical activity you like. Your body will thank you in 20 years. 

10 social activities that don't require physical interaction outside your home

Hopefully these are helpful and can bring a little joy to you and the people you serve!

1. Play a board or card game
2. Make a card and sent it to someone
3. Plan a picnic
4. Plan a movie marathon (what will you watch, when, food, who's invited)
5. Have a water fight
6. Create a scavenger hunt
7. Serve a neighbor
8. Send someone a box of sunshine
9. Write to a pen-pal (soldier, child in a hospital, favorite author, missionary)
• http://www.cardsforhospitalizedkids.com/make-general-cards.html
• https://www.scholastic.com/teachers/sponsored-content/USPS/how-write-letters-encouragement/
• http://www.operationwearehere.com/IdeasforSoldiersCardsLetters.html
• https://www.operationgratitude.com/express-your-thanks/write-letters/
• https://www.stjude.org/get-involved/other-ways/holiday-cheer-online-card.html?sc_icid=gi-mm-tg-holidaywishes
10. Find people you know who could use some happy mail. My friend recently told me of some of her family struggles so I decided to write to her daughters. We'll see how that goes. 
11. Plan a family talent show

7 Spiritual/mental activities and goals

Obviously I wrote this when temples were still open, but you could plan a trip for when temples are reopened. 

Spiritual

People are multifaceted. We have emotional, physical, spiritual and social needs. Our spirits need to be fed just like our bodies. We need to make sure we don't neglect our souls. I think our emotions and our spirits are very closely related. When I don't take care of my spirit I am more likely to give into bursts of anger or frustration. I am more likely to feel sad and discontent. Taking care of myself spiritually helps keep me balanced. I don't think taking care of your spirit necessarily has to do with church. I have benefitted from meditation and reading uplifting literature. 
You can find more ideas here. 

1. Write in your journal
   
1. This is not my graphic. I got it from here. Why reinvent the wheel? 
   
2. This one is from here.
2. Plan a trip to the temple
3. Meditate I chose this video because I love her yoga. There are tons of other videos you can find or  maybe find some soothing meditation music and do your own.
4. Read a conference talk
• These are ones that were recommended by family members.
• Will you engage in the wrestle?  By Sheri Dew (Recommended by aunt Kari)
• Hope of Israel By President Nelson (also recommended by Kari)
• Like a Broken Vessel By Elder Holland (recommended by my cousin Taressa)
• Watchful unto Prayer By Elder Bednar (recommended by me)
• Spiritual Crocodiles By Elder Packer (recommended by Elder Bednar)
• I'm thinking of sometimes having them take notes
5. Read the scriptures or other uplifting literature for 10 minutes (love having a library card)
• There are at least 100 chicken soup for every kind of soul there is
• There are also about a million self help books 
6. Plan and give a family home evening lesson
• There are tons of websites with great family night lessons already prepared, ideas for lessons, or come up with something on your own.
• 52 Family night lessons
• Here is my family night Pinterest board
7. Index names

These are more non-religious spiritual/mental health goals

1. Write in your journal
2. Read or listen to uplifting literature
• Chicken soup for the soul
• TED talks
• Self help book or podcast (7 habits of highly effective teens)
3. Meditate
4. Learn a new coping skill and put it into practice
5. Put your phone in airplane mode every night at 10pm
6. Start a gratitude journal
7. Stay off social media one day a week
8. Make your bed every day (this is why you should)

11 Physical activities for kids of any age

Again, I had this all ready for summer but now is as good a time as any. Probably don't go swimming unless you have a pool at your house. I doubt  you'd be able to find an open pool anyway. Depending on where you are slip and slide and water fight might be questionable as well. 

Physical

All people need to move their bodies. This helps keep us healthy. Our bodies were made to move. Bonus if we are moving outside! Hopefully we can do some activities as a family, but individually is important too.
For more ideas go here. 

1. Go for a hike (plan a hike for the family)
2. Go swimming (plan a swimming trip since unfortunately we do not have a pool)
3. Go geocaching
4. Go for a walk
5. Do some yoga
6. Go for a bike ride
7. Play a sport
8. Do some kind of workout video
9. Have a nerf gun war 
10. Have a water fight
11. Slip and slide

63 Intellectual ideas for teens

I started this post months ago to have ready for the summer. Now seems like a good time to post as we are all choosing to do our part and stay home. Hopefully there is something on this list that you can try. 

Intellectual

This is the skills. New things that are going to work their brains. Will they paint? Will they crochet? Will they build a table? Who knows if they will do anything, but here is a list of things they could try and links to videos or tutorials on how to do them. 

Have a teen that refuses to try new things? When is the last time you tried something new? Maybe set the example and give one of these a try. Curiosity is a great motivator. If they see you trying new and different things, it might get them curious enough to venture into their own experimentation. 
For more ideas go here.

1. Photography
2. Build a Ukulele and learn how to play it
3. Learn a different instrument
4. Learn to draw
5. Doodle/draw
6. Make jewelry
7. Polymer clay sculpting (could be used to make beads for the jewelry)
8. Paint a phone case
9. Crayon melting art
10. Paint rocks
11. Do an acrylic pour This is a different (longer) video option and I really like this youtube channel but her videos are really long. I turn the speed up to 2x. Seriously I watched different videos for over an hour. So many different techniques, such cool results!
12. Paint, you know, get in touch with your inner Bob Ross (acrylic, watercolor, etc.)
13. Graffiti Wall (I'm so stoked about this one. Build some kind of wall/fence and some spray paint. Bam! Graffiti wall)
14. Do a science project
15. Create a block set for Lincoln
16. Do a wood project from wood connection
17. Work on a puzzle
18. Learn to code
19. Puppetry (sock puppet, marionette, create a set, make the puppets, write a play)
20. Carpentry (nothing too fancy, give them some wood and nails)
21. Write a play and act it out (plan this out so cousins can participate)
22. Go to the library
23. Create a neighborhood library
24. Do pancake art
25. Make a music video
26. Make a sock gnome
27. Make a felt board for Lincoln
28. Write a story
29. Make a childrens book (Target books)
30. Make a comic strip
31. String art
32. Do movie reviews
33. Create a Shutterfly book
34. Create a Pinterest board 
35. Create a blog
36. Create your own board game
37. Create a YouTube tutorial for something
38. Listen to a podcast
39. Read a book
40. Duct tape art
41. Make a jelly roll rug
42. Work in the garden
43. Shrink art
44. Origami
45. Paper art
46. Have a water fight
47. Make perler bead art
48. Plan and make a meal
49. Make homemade ice cream
50. Learn to decorate cake or cookies
51. Bake something (bread, cookies, pie)
52. Learn to make jam
53. Learn to face paint
54. learn to make candles
55. learn to grill
56. learn to knit
57. learn macrame
58. learn to crochet
59. learn to juggle
60. learn a magic/card trick
61. learn to sew (pj pants, pillowcase, quilt, use my longarm!)
62. learn calligraphy
63. learn/practice a language

I am patient

Everyone waits. You can't really do anything about having to wait. You wait in line at the grocery store, the doctors office, a red light. We wait for winter to be over, for our broken leg to heal, for the cookies to bake. We really can't do anything to make these things go faster. We have to wait. So what is the difference between waiting and being patient? What do we mean when we say we need to be more patient with our kids or our coworkers? When we say someone is "trying our patience"?

 This quote by Joyce Meyer answers that for me. We all wait, it is how we wait that makes the difference. Are we tapping the steering wheel at the red light? Are we silently criticizing the checker at the grocery store? Are we complaining about another cold snowy day?

When we realize this↑↑ we are more inclined to change our attitude. To have the patience we so boldly claim to want, but so often let slip between our fingers. When we realize that we will still get to see the doctor and that everyone else needs to see him too, we can calm down a bit. We may have to change some plans since we are now running late, but we can calmly accept that and make the necessary arrangement instead of boiling inside and probably snapping at the receptionist. The same goes for our children and coworkers. There is more than one way to do something, everyone is dealing with something in their lives, we all learn in our own time, we all make mistakes. When we can step back, take a breath, and remind ourselves of this, we can see that things can happen differently that what we would like, on a different time line that what we would like and it's okay.
There are worse things in the world that arriving 10 minutes late. Yelling at your kids because they spilled juice on their shirt when you needed to leave won't help you leave on time and may do more damage to your kid than you will ever know.
Obviously we aren't perfect. We are going to lose our cool, get upset, make mistakes and want to give up. But we must also be patient with ourselves. Remember that we too make progress in a different order and timeline that what we might like.
Give yourself a little grace and keep trying.